I keep fighting but my heart grows weak
My mind falters and my body wears thin.
I cannot see I cannot see,
The chaos has blinded me.
I can no longer come out of the rubble,
Ever since reality came, punishment was double.
I prayed to my god but he only listened,
Looked down as the blood glistened
All over the hard concrete,
Oh my, the dead lay at my feet.
I found myself in a war we weren’t winning,
A war where we found ourselves sinning,
Against our very selves,
For allowing the doubt to dwell,
Of a purpose driven strife,
Within a battle stricken life.
How many times must I fall?
How many times before I end it all?
Why must I keep still,
When you know I am emotionally ill.
Why do you always complain?
Why is it always to my disdain?
Forever be, forever was,
My own fallacy encounter I must.
Within the depths of hell,
Shall I get lost,
In the bosom of your lust?
Why can't you let me go?
Why do you always seek for more?
Why must I constantly dwell,
In all that is not well.
Why am I in constant search,
For the things that make me hurt?
Why can't i have it all in rapture,
To enjoy your love before your rabid departure?
Why is it hard for you to comprehend,
The reason why I always offered you amends?
Is it so difficult to understand,
That I simply offered you a helping hand?
One that bore no resentment,
One that held no containment.
For the things that were offered,
Were simply the ones that were muffled,
By your egotistic desires,
Which consumed you like fire.
Did you not ever love me back?
Or was I simply a hack?
I wish to know if I may,
The very things that you hold dear to this day,
So that I can at least go off in the distance,
Knowing that you at least offered no resistance,
And that in the coldest hour,
You embraced me with a strong desire.
I simply wish upon a star,
Here close by not so far,
That you may be content,
Even when my heart is in contempt.
I wish you well, I wish you best,
Clearly above all, that your heart may rest,
From the constant memories of the pain,
That you endured under my love reign.